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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31285) - you deserved it (6488)
On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (7490)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25444) - you deserved it (7152)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44791) - you deserved it (7788)
On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I found out my girlfriend had sex with three different guys in one day. All at a party. A party that I was at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36123) - you deserved it (4684)
On 11/30/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by crushed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22233) - you deserved it (2836)
On 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm - health - by fulloshit - United States (Washington)
Today, I received an overdue bill for my now nonexistent car that caught fire in July. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16370) - you deserved it (2123)
On 11/04/2010 at 10:42am - money - by Lisa - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25450) - you deserved it (11600)
On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43530) - you deserved it (9219)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a maths test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (2752)
On 11/01/2010 at 11:10am - intimacy - by crazy_mom (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27094) - you deserved it (2104)
On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (7970) - you deserved it (23998)
On 10/18/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29813) - you deserved it (6024)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26967) - you deserved it (2053)
On 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (2259)
On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States
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