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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5320) - you deserved it (351)
On 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17582) - you deserved it (24465)
On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40811) - you deserved it (7208)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26305) - you deserved it (1826)
On 12/08/2010 at 9:26pm - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22594) - you deserved it (7353)
On 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40520) - you deserved it (6067)
On 08/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Alisha Marie - United States (New York)
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50416) - you deserved it (2870)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)
Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (4101)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19562) - you deserved it (2377)
On 11/02/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I had to stay after school to make up for a test. When I got outside, I saw my mom wasn't there to pick me up. I called her and she explained that there was an emergency. I walked six miles home to see that the emergency was that Ellen had Taylor Swift today and she couldn't miss it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20408) - you deserved it (1512)
On 10/29/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18593) - you deserved it (1168)
On 10/13/2009 at 9:45am - intimacy - by LOLCATS (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (2780)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10050) - you deserved it (29913)
On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50099) - you deserved it (9423)
On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50610) - you deserved it (6828)
On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)
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