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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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LetItRock2009

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LetItRock2009
  • Town/Country : Newberg, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 May 1991 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2673
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (64282) - you deserved it (4463)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (42348) - you deserved it (16831)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (56204) - you deserved it (3544)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

#3386815 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (77442) - you deserved it (3345)

On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (46380) - you deserved it (6633)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

#3201910 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (26983) - you deserved it (8624)

On 06/25/2009 at 10:13am - work - by KN (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

#1135948 (299)

I agree, your life sucks (94858) - you deserved it (8974)

On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (317450) - you deserved it (15414)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (752)

I agree, your life sucks (29953) - you deserved it (213746)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909 (383)

I agree, your life sucks (140157) - you deserved it (19175)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

#618347 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (73294) - you deserved it (12016)

On 03/26/2009 at 4:37am - intimacy - by crap (man) - Thailand (Krung Thep)



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