Leoskitten

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Offline (the 07/20/2015 at 7:07am)

Leoskitten

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 364
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Leoskitten's page activity

Visits<b>lol1252</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 8:36pm<b>kalikiller13</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 7:10am

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Leoskitten's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 7:37am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Kids

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2014 at 1:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my parents why it is inappropriate to take selfies at a funeral. FML

by rain1 / 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

by FMLPLZ / 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

by bleach bleach bleach / 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

by pootie / 12/11/2013 at 8:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

by TheTruthofWomen / 11/04/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2013 at 3:13am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

by latter / 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML

by peejay6831 / 09/23/2013 at 2:27am / United States / Work