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Leebra's favorite FMLs
Today, my mum and I decided to go on a hike. Beforehand we left my car at the end of the trail and took my mums car to the beginning. After 4 hours we arrived at my car. I had left my keys in mums car. It was a long walk back. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2010 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation
Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 8:17am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML
by grimatwork / 11/01/2010 at 1:24pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Intimacy
Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML
by crazy_mom / 11/01/2010 at 11:10am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 2:12am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
by Embarrassed / 10/01/2010 at 9:06am / United States / Health
Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML
by lyssuhhhh / 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
by cganon / 09/21/2010 at 8:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I’m at this huge beach party in Thailand. I kiss a beautiful girl and decide to take it to…