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Leebra's favorite FMLs
by ima nerd / 12/25/2010 at 2:31am / United States (Alabama) / Money
Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML
by Username / 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML
by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by grossedout / 12/08/2010 at 9:26pm / United States (California) / Work
by Cherie / 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML
by openmouthinsertfoot / 12/07/2010 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy
Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my five year old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side so I decided to grab a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by mydadsawsooomuch / 11/17/2010 at 8:26am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML
by girlwithaprob / 11/13/2010 at 4:45pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was excited to hear that I received three of my grad school recommendations in the mail from a very busy professor. They need to be submitted sealed, and of course, my nosy mom decided to open them. FML
by dcsunshine / 11/10/2010 at 12:30am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML
by traumatized4life / 11/04/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Lisa / 11/04/2010 at 10:42am / United States (New Hampshire) / Money
Today, my mum and I decided to go on a hike. Beforehand we left my car at the end of the trail and took my mums car to the beginning. After 4 hours we arrived at my car. I had left my keys in mums car. It was a long walk back. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2010 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, my economics teacher gives us a lot of photocopies, so I told her that she kills pandas by… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…