Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Laxinitup

Online | Search for a member

Laxinitup

0Liked!

Laxinitup
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2876
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Laxinitup : I don't know what to say, I guess I am a cool, 25 year old guy, that you should get to know.

Feel free to message me, seriously, message me Now....

Laxinitup's page activity

Visits<b>jenamalone</b> - 7 hours ago<b>ironfey</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Sophia813</b> - yesterday at 1:37pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - yesterday at 12:56pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 6:34pm<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 6:27pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:57pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:30pm<b>katypotatie</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:50am<b>Daisyflower89</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:27am<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:55pm<b>superwolf33</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:54am<b>KeepItTrill</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 5:50am<b>angelk19</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:14am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:10am<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:33am<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:42pm<b>darkfire4eva</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:21am

Laxinitup's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Laxinitup's badges

Laxinitup's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

#19914869
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19556) - you deserved it (1341)

On 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm - health - by deadman (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10089) - you deserved it (39897)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11976) - you deserved it (39175)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28216) - you deserved it (8470)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53501) - you deserved it (9978)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37511) - you deserved it (9491)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

#13798665
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54648) - you deserved it (3082) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6888) - you deserved it (45067)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32844) - you deserved it (19845)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66043) - you deserved it (7431)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33756) - you deserved it (9150)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

#12655569
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (6828)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22764) - you deserved it (46223)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

#7682210
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37497) - you deserved it (5214)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: