Search for a member

Offline (29 minutes ago)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4776
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Laxinitup : "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." George Orwell

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." Albert Einstein

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Friedrich Nietzsche

"Speak softly and carry a big stick". Theodore Roosevelt

Just a typical guy. If you want to know more feel free to message me, or not; either way.

Laxinitup's page activity

Visits<b>alexisanford</b> - 5 hours ago<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 10/28/2016 at 8:55am<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 8:58pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 3:44am<b>Curls4life</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 4:56pm<b>lexiieeex3</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 1:02am<b>shyy_girl</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 3:12pm<b>Hyacinth_shmily</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 9:02pm<b>jds14</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 9:19pm<b>delichick</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 8:00pm<b>2simz</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 3:56am<b>HelloKiittyy</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 10:29pm<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 10:56pm<b>OlRed</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 7:21pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 4:44pm<b>karla_darla</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 1:43am<b>justindrew14</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 2:14pm<b>lemon_70</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 9:29pm

Fucked!<b>alexisanford</b> - just now<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 10/28/2016 at 2:54pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 2:59am<b>Curls4life</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 10:56pm<b>Hyacinth_shmily</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 6:56am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 8:34am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 8:12pm<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 10:04am<b>justindrew14</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 4:45pm<b>trucker2</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 2:16pm<b>thatweirdasian</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 5:14pm<b>andits</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 5:14am<b>Frau_Blucher</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 1:30pm<b>399</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 4:48pm<b>whootywhoo</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 8:05pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 7:50pm<b>ifeelyourpainop</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 6:17am<b>ldhull</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 8:41pm

Laxinitup's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Laxinitup's badges

Laxinitup's favorite FMLs

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

by deadman / 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Health

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

by girly girly / 05/26/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 3:40am / France / Love

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2010 at 10:29am / United Kingdom (York) / Transportation

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

by gorillalove / 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

by carwife / 08/21/2010 at 12:13am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

by Wawawiwa / 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm / Namibia (Windhoek) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

by soonaked / 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous