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About Laxinitup : I don't know what to say, I guess I am a cool, 23 year old guy, that you should get to know.
Feel free to message me, seriously, message me Now....
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9584) - you deserved it (28317)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10451) - you deserved it (2766)
On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50302) - you deserved it (9600)
On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (7736)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42671) - you deserved it (2158) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5082) - you deserved it (32446)
On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27601) - you deserved it (15694)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57365) - you deserved it (5790)
On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29809) - you deserved it (7444)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21567) - you deserved it (5223)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19652) - you deserved it (35895)
On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)
Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28753) - you deserved it (3718)
On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (2845)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54070) - you deserved it (22027)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41190) - you deserved it (115405)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
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