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Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41308) - you deserved it (3134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version
Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30185) - you deserved it (6965)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27427) - you deserved it (2083)
On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (2205)
On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23126) - you deserved it (2471)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26643) - you deserved it (6231)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States
Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13708) - you deserved it (2564)
On 04/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by leprechaun23 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20730) - you deserved it (7959)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23942) - you deserved it (3316)
On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17476) - you deserved it (1304)
On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7292) - you deserved it (38904)
On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31059) - you deserved it (6775)
On 02/19/2012 at 4:15am - intimacy - by meet Chloe - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29975) - you deserved it (4911)
On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States
Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24058) - you deserved it (1256)
On 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm - misc - by Jedi2500 (man) - United States (Texas)
I agree, your life sucks (18924) - you deserved it (2086)
Friday 24 May 2013
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