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Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14149) - you deserved it (5563)
On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8122) - you deserved it (19694)
On 04/06/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by feminismlol (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18632) - you deserved it (2496)
On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17856) - you deserved it (38112)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6891) - you deserved it (20935)
On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29703) - you deserved it (4053)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43614) - you deserved it (7674)
On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27751) - you deserved it (4475)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21830) - you deserved it (22977)
Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (11928)
On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22536) - you deserved it (3155)
Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35275) - you deserved it (4178) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version
Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46826) - you deserved it (7159)
On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105196) - you deserved it (5803)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16525) - you deserved it (39252)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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