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LadyDraculoid

Offline (the 11/05/2014 at 8:04pm) | Search for a member

LadyDraculoid

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  • Number of visits : 756
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LadyDraculoid's page activity

Visits<b>dinocween44</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 3:47am<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 6:56am

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LadyDraculoid's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

#21289586
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33020) - you deserved it (12242)

On 11/01/2014 at 8:58am - misc - by That Guy - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

#21286908
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/28/2014 at 10:07am - misc - by bottombarrel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48837) - you deserved it (3463)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

#21285323
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31533) - you deserved it (2513)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

#21285040
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32704) - you deserved it (5349)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37847) - you deserved it (9987)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28912) - you deserved it (7437)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34524) - you deserved it (4311)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML

#21272098
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40125) - you deserved it (3892)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:46pm - love - by kittenfish8903 (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40602) - you deserved it (6339)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35723) - you deserved it (3648)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44368) - you deserved it (16473)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48255) - you deserved it (5578)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML



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