About LMxDelta38 : Hey Im Matt! I love meeting new people, so if you want to chat shoot me a message!
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LMxDelta38's favorite FMLs
Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML
by anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/11/2015 at 10:59pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML
by assholedad / 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm / France (Bretagne) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML
by doomed / 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Duckzy / 02/07/2015 at 5:34pm / United States / Animals
by gali-ma / 02/07/2015 at 7:52am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by juliette / 02/07/2015 at 12:13am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2015 at 3:10pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/14/2015 at 2:18am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm / United States (Delaware) / Animals
by whatajerk / 01/02/2015 at 10:11pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…