About LMxDelta38 : Hey Im Matt! I love meeting new people, so if you want to chat shoot me a message!
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LMxDelta38's favorite FMLs
Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 2:29pm / United States (Vermont) / Money
Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML
by dickhead / 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by Crazy cat lady / 04/10/2015 at 11:20am / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
by PrettySureItsReal / 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML
by fedupson / 04/09/2015 at 10:03am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Notre_Dame_714 / 04/08/2015 at 5:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML
by S to the HIT / 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm / United States (California) / Work
by burnswhenipee / 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by f my lifw / 04/07/2015 at 11:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
by RadioactiveKush / 03/01/2015 at 2:07am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Kids
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…