Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KyuuketsukiApple

Offline (yesterday at 3:12am) | Search for a member

KyuuketsukiApple

3Fucked!

KyuuketsukiApple
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 December 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5075
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About KyuuketsukiApple : I haven't used this profile in a while but I'm back-ish.


~~ I'm a biologist who has blue hair and loves cats. I'm friendly, message me :)

KyuuketsukiApple's page activity

Visits<b>roys1girl</b> - yesterday at 11:48am<b>GavinoFreedom</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:23am<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:01pm<b>amcquaid</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:19pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:30pm<b>lsayavedraiii</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:37am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:18pm<b>loche123</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:27am<b>cohenb93</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:01am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:27pm<b>codytallica</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 5:54am<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:22am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:10pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 1:31pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 8:06am<b>ItsTakingOver</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 6:30pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 10:28am<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 12:01pm

Fucked!<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:02am<b>saocrates</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:30am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 8:26pm

KyuuketsukiApple's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of KyuuketsukiApple's badges

KyuuketsukiApple's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
480 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50533) - you deserved it (4714)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (2695)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML

#19459497
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38228) - you deserved it (7825)

On 04/13/2012 at 1:09am - love - by rejected - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

#19336672
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28054) - you deserved it (10557)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49694) - you deserved it (4861)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

#19290632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23653) - you deserved it (7755)

On 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by danny5191 (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29213) - you deserved it (6073)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

#19167589
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22830) - you deserved it (7412)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML

#19161997
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35944) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26516) - you deserved it (4078)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28639) - you deserved it (3741)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

#19048671
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22969) - you deserved it (5792)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm - misc - by big steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

#19040540
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7950) - you deserved it (25591)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: