KyuuketsukiApple

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Offline (the 04/26/2016 at 7:42pm)

KyuuketsukiApple

5Fucked!

KyuuketsukiApple
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6055
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About KyuuketsukiApple : I haven't used this profile in a while but I'm back-ish.


~~ I'm a biologist who has blue hair and loves cats. I'm friendly, message me :)

KyuuketsukiApple's page activity

Visits<b>HoboRain</b> - yesterday at 10:56am<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 4:14pm<b>StyrisSand</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 6:09pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 5:19pm<b>HeRoxKicks</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:01pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:52pm<b>JordanODST</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:51pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 1:55am<b>melons</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:32pm<b>girl_fml</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:16am<b>roys1girl</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:48am<b>GavinoFreedom</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:23am<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:01pm<b>amcquaid</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:19pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:30pm<b>lsayavedraiii</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:37am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:18pm<b>loche123</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:27am

Fucked!<b>HeRoxKicks</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:01pm<b>JordanODST</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 11:51pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:02am<b>saocrates</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:30am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 8:26pm

KyuuketsukiApple's FML badges

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See all of KyuuketsukiApple's badges

KyuuketsukiApple's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

by GothicAngel17 / 05/19/2012 at 7:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

by foshizzle / 04/25/2012 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML

by rejected / 04/13/2012 at 1:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

by purple / 03/24/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

by mrricecakes / 03/23/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

by danny5191 / 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

by still learning / 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm / Virgin Islands British / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

by -_- / 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

by JukeboxValkyrie / 02/16/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

by big steve / 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation