KyuuketsukiApple

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Offline (the 04/26/2016 at 7:42pm)

KyuuketsukiApple

5Fucked!

KyuuketsukiApple
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5930
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About KyuuketsukiApple : I haven't used this profile in a while but I'm back-ish.


~~ I'm a biologist who has blue hair and loves cats. I'm friendly, message me :)

KyuuketsukiApple's page activity

Visits<b>StyrisSand</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 6:09pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 5:19pm<b>HeRoxKicks</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:01pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:52pm<b>JordanODST</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:51pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 1:55am<b>melons</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:32pm<b>girl_fml</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:16am<b>roys1girl</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:48am<b>GavinoFreedom</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:23am<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:01pm<b>amcquaid</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:19pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:30pm<b>lsayavedraiii</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:37am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:18pm<b>loche123</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:27am<b>cohenb93</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:01am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:27pm

Fucked!<b>HeRoxKicks</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:01pm<b>JordanODST</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 11:51pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:02am<b>saocrates</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:30am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 8:26pm

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KyuuketsukiApple's favorite FMLs

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

by tw@ / 09/28/2014 at 11:30am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish byproduct. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

by firestar772 / 02/11/2013 at 10:48am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML

by BeforeItWasCool / 09/30/2012 at 5:30am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML

by kfenton / 09/29/2012 at 7:16am / United States / Love

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 12:44am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

by dumbasdogshit / 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

by I_Has_A_Fishy / 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm / Spain (Castilla y Leon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

by notnicefools / 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous