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About KyuuketsukiApple : I'm not a grammar (or spelling or punctuation) nazi, but if you butcher the English language, I will point and laugh. It's nothing personal.
Hopefully I'll be a medical student in the near future, aspiring towards trauma or psych! :)
In case you were wondering, kyuuketsuki is Japanese meaning vampire.
~ I'm on the iPhone app mostly (lurking), but feel free to message anyway. I'll probably reply by the weekend...
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5321) - you deserved it (970)
On 05/19/2012 at 7:05am - health - by GothicAngel17 - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9155) - you deserved it (835)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6004) - you deserved it (712)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my fiancé's mother tried to arrange a marriage for him to a nice Indian girl, again. We've been engaged for a year, and the wedding is in a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8284) - you deserved it (529)
On 04/13/2012 at 10:12am - love - by Beth (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11336) - you deserved it (2106)
On 04/13/2012 at 1:09am - love - by rejected - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6568) - you deserved it (2493)
On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16583) - you deserved it (5113)
On 03/21/2012 at 3:27am - intimacy - by ReallyBro (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6229) - you deserved it (2797)
On 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by danny5191 (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7868) - you deserved it (1763)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
Today, my hatred for IKEA reignited when I rammed my knee into my hotel bathroom's plexiglass counter top while I was drying myself off. Their interior designer must have have been suffering brain damage when she matched everything with the floor tiles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3823) - you deserved it (1499)
On 03/02/2012 at 4:06pm - health - by Skyra (woman) - Portugal (Setubal)
Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (4998)
On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10504) - you deserved it (574)
On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British
Today, someone actually thought it was appropriate to compare my mother's death to the death of their cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9206) - you deserved it (918)
On 02/20/2012 at 8:05pm - misc - by ashleigh_anarchy (woman) - Australia
Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6492) - you deserved it (955)
On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6825) - you deserved it (893)
On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
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