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Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal on accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59943) - you deserved it (19741)
On 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by hairball (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53706) - you deserved it (4258)
On 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16822) - you deserved it (55077)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by ToobyFrank - United States (Missouri)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (182781) - you deserved it (61939)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
I agree, your life sucks (69255) - you deserved it (20133)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (180478) - you deserved it (7244)
On 02/04/2009 at 10:51am - intimacy - by rexob (man) - United States (California)
Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7148) - you deserved it (23199)
On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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