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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37435) - you deserved it (14151)
On 07/10/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (17927)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
I agree, your life sucks (73729) - you deserved it (15151)
On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27888) - you deserved it (8808)
On 06/25/2009 at 10:13am - work - by KN (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14533) - you deserved it (30630)
On 06/23/2009 at 12:44am - animals - by Xtine (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37550) - you deserved it (5192)
On 06/15/2009 at 1:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30614) - you deserved it (271634)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25515) - you deserved it (58792)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51467) - you deserved it (5765)
On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12647) - you deserved it (7621)
On 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by silvercity09 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (80298) - you deserved it (18415)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, is my mothers birthday. I decided to take her out to lunch. On the way there, we had a car accident. It was my fault. For my mothers birthday I gave her: 3 broken ribs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40742) - you deserved it (12397)
On 05/06/2009 at 11:47am - health - by FortuneFaded (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I went to donate blood for the first time. When they stuck the needle in my arm, I had a panic attack and begged that they take it out. The woman helping me told me she'd take it out in a moment and left. It was then that the Red Cross stole a pint of my blood while I had a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39807) - you deserved it (12427)
On 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56222) - you deserved it (22803)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal on accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59816) - you deserved it (19716)
On 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by hairball (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Friday 24 May 2013
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