Kurliegyrl

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Kurliegyrl

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 September 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3128
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Kurliegyrl's page activity

Visits<b>leJar</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 12:31am<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 2:32am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 6:07am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 3:35am<b>WelcomedDread</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:11am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:41pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 6:54pm<b>BigPeter</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:28am<b>dingo31</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 5:36am<b>pbody2000</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:41pm<b>blrub</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:33am<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:11am<b>deuceswild</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 12:38pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:44pm<b>trqskq</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 11:38am

Kurliegyrl's FML badges

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It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Kurliegyrl's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2009 at 2:47pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

by ILuvYouSoldiers / 06/26/2009 at 3:57am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

by KN / 06/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML

by Xtine / 06/23/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML

by silvercity09 / 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

by embarrassedmom / 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, is my mothers birthday. I decided to take her out to lunch. On the way there, we had a car accident. It was my fault. For my mothers birthday I gave her: 3 broken ribs. FML

by FortuneFaded / 05/06/2009 at 11:47am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health

Today, I went to donate blood for the first time. When they stuck the needle in my arm, I had a panic attack and begged that they take it out. The woman helping me told me she'd take it out in a moment and left. It was then that the Red Cross stole a pint of my blood while I had a panic attack. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

by hyper12332 / 04/29/2009 at 10:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML

by hairball / 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids