Kurliegyrl

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Kurliegyrl

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2634
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Kurliegyrl's page activity

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Kurliegyrl's favorite FMLs

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML

by DayamyWuzHere / 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

by Arachnaphobic / 11/22/2009 at 3:35am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was minding a 6-year old boy. He begged me to take him somewhere. I rang his Mum, and she said I could. He picked to go to McDonald's. He ordered chicken. After his meal, he told me he was vegetarian, and wanted to try some meat while his Mum wasn't around. I got the blame. FML

by NewlyChildaphobic / 11/17/2009 at 9:50am / Ireland (Cork) / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML

by neuroticallyours / 11/12/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

by belle_arina / 10/08/2009 at 1:05am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML

by almostmugged / 09/17/2009 at 1:00am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

by keepsmiling / 09/02/2009 at 7:19am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

by twingirl / 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

by fearofzombies / 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal. My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women. FML

by slamo / 08/06/2009 at 6:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2009 at 1:11am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

by roar_shark / 07/10/2009 at 11:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation