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Kurliegyrl's favorite FMLs
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
by Chris / 01/01/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I had the pleasure of meeting my girlfriend's mother for the very first time. She walked in on me in the bathroom; I'd completely lost focus and fallen asleep while taking a shit. FML
by Username / 12/24/2010 at 6:49pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML
by fufu_mutt / 12/14/2010 at 11:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by notgettingany / 11/24/2010 at 12:18pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 3:01am / Mexico (Morelos) / Intimacy
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals
by meowmeow / 09/21/2010 at 12:38am / Australia / Health
Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Lauren / 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 12:25am / United States (North Dakota) / Love
Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML
by AlexaSt2611 / 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm / Paraguay (Central) / Intimacy
by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the… Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours… Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parent's bed by her mom. Instead of making me…