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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26981) - you deserved it (2589)
On 01/01/2011 at 12:06am - work - by Chris - United States (Illinois)
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I had the pleasure of meeting my girlfriend's mother for the very first time. She walked in on me in the bathroom; I'd completely lost focus and fallen asleep while taking a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9985) - you deserved it (16768)
On 12/24/2010 at 6:49pm - love - by Username - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20037) - you deserved it (7452)
On 12/14/2010 at 11:24pm - animals - by fufu_mutt (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30255) - you deserved it (49771)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21455) - you deserved it (6474)
On 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30690) - you deserved it (3232)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by notgettingany (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6815) - you deserved it (45225)
On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17836) - you deserved it (5016)
Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25215) - you deserved it (4137)
On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7315) - you deserved it (22450)
Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6535) - you deserved it (27831)
On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27791) - you deserved it (6782)
On 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm - health - by Lauren - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend got scared of a fly, freaked out, and accidentally punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21864) - you deserved it (438)
On 09/06/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10147) - you deserved it (17008)
On 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by AlexaSt2611 (woman) - Paraguay (Central)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38255) - you deserved it (10978)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Monday 20 May 2013
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