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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15311) - you deserved it (27691)
On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26154) - you deserved it (8053)
On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)
Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54728) - you deserved it (2328)
On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19515) - you deserved it (2292)
On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (2564)
On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40241) - you deserved it (3158)
On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15783) - you deserved it (2741)
On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I put my cat in the tub for a bath, as he rolled around in some mud. The second I put my hand on the faucet to turn the water on, he screamed, rather loudly. I yelled in shock, which must have scared him further, as he vigorously attacked my face and pissed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16245) - you deserved it (10041)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:47pm - animals - by GEFStryker - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (4080)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30685) - you deserved it (2349)
On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at the airport to pick up my mother since my baby is due soon. As she arrived, I smiled wide and opened my arms for a hug, but she walked right by me. Apparently, being pregnant makes me unrecognizable. My husband and I had to tell it her was me, her own daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (1812)
On 08/14/2011 at 6:34am - misc - by Motherly Love - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went with my boyfriend to the OC fair. He was taking a picture of me in front of a giant mechanical butterfly at the insect exhibit. Playfully, he told me to pretend to be a butterfly, so I quickly lifted my arms, just in time to slap a 7 year old girl in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21591) - you deserved it (4085)
On 07/26/2011 at 7:19pm - kids - by slappedright (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10349) - you deserved it (61828)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:07am - love - by sarahbeth93 - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I got a text message from my ex from about a year ago, asking if my 4-day-old son was his. I don't know what's sadder - the fact that he thinks a gestation period can last 11 months, or that he's more willing to step up to the plate than the baby's actual father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23272) - you deserved it (6314)
On 07/11/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14094) - you deserved it (46364)
On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)
Friday 24 May 2013
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