Kurliegyrl

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Kurliegyrl

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2858
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Kurliegyrl's page activity

Visits<b>leJar</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 12:31am<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 2:32am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 6:07am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 3:35am<b>WelcomedDread</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:11am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:41pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 6:54pm<b>BigPeter</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:28am<b>dingo31</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 5:36am<b>pbody2000</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:41pm<b>blrub</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:33am<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:11am<b>deuceswild</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 12:38pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:44pm<b>trqskq</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 11:38am

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Kurliegyrl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 11:52am / United States / Kids

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

by Good sister / 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

by ...... / 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

by Emmy / 10/02/2011 at 2:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the airport to pick up my mother since my baby is due soon. As she arrived, I smiled wide and opened my arms for a hug, but she walked right by me. Apparently, being pregnant makes me unrecognizable. My husband and I had to tell it her was me, her own daughter. FML

by Motherly Love / 08/14/2011 at 6:34am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the OC fair. He was taking a picture of me in front of a giant mechanical butterfly at the insect exhibit. Playfully, he told me to pretend to be a butterfly, so I quickly lifted my arms, just in time to slap a 7 year old girl in the face. FML

by slappedright / 07/26/2011 at 7:19pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML

by sarahbeth93 / 07/20/2011 at 12:07am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I got a text message from my ex from about a year ago, asking if my 4-day-old son was his. I don't know what's sadder - the fact that he thinks a gestation period can last 11 months, or that he's more willing to step up to the plate than the baby's actual father. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

by beekeke45 / 06/25/2011 at 9:39am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids