Kurliegyrl

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Kurliegyrl

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2564
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Kurliegyrl's page activity

Visits<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 2:32am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 6:07am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 3:35am<b>WelcomedDread</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:11am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:41pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 6:54pm<b>BigPeter</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:28am<b>dingo31</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 5:36am<b>pbody2000</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:41pm<b>blrub</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:33am<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:11am<b>deuceswild</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 12:38pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:44pm<b>trqskq</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 11:38am

Kurliegyrl's FML badges

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Kurliegyrl's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

by gabbykinz13 / 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm / United States / Love

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

by Hannah / 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

by Hannah / 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

by argh / 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 6:17am / United States / Transportation

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

by littlelottie / 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

by haggisbowl / 01/14/2012 at 1:52am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

by stinky / 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

by lebato97 / 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

by preggers / 11/30/2011 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

by hannahk267 / 11/18/2011 at 8:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous