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Kurliegyrl

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Kurliegyrl

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 September 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1198
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Kurliegyrl's page activity

Visits<b>BigPeter</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:28am<b>dingo31</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 5:36am<b>pbody2000</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:41pm<b>blrub</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:33am<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:11am<b>deuceswild</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 12:38pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:44pm<b>trqskq</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 11:38am

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Kurliegyrl's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13427) - you deserved it (49474)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21094) - you deserved it (26588)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21094) - you deserved it (26588)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

#19204484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8141) - you deserved it (27323)

On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

#19113390
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28482) - you deserved it (3497)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34661) - you deserved it (3017)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

#18802490
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26629) - you deserved it (8603)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37241) - you deserved it (4929) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8970) - you deserved it (40892)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7941) - you deserved it (71761)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33232) - you deserved it (5399)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27935) - you deserved it (3418)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

#18279897
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34158) - you deserved it (3855)

On 11/18/2011 at 8:30am - misc - by hannahk267 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (18846)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28172) - you deserved it (3320)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States



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