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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53022) - you deserved it (2692)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was with my seven year old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it, she responded loudly with "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25548) - you deserved it (3225)
On 09/12/2009 at 11:31am - kids - by nosexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11969) - you deserved it (50390)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)
Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34320) - you deserved it (16803)
On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37294) - you deserved it (21696)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)
Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48848) - you deserved it (4675)
On 05/25/2009 at 4:33am - animals - by jackelking (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55460) - you deserved it (2484)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:18am - love - by sad (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (652352) - you deserved it (12103)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I should have given my first concert in front of a crowded audience. As we were about to go on stage my band decided to roll a joint outside. The cops just happened to pass by and now I'm on my own. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18635) - you deserved it (2900)
On 11/21/2008 at 11:42pm - work - by christous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21187) - you deserved it (1678)
On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6399) - you deserved it (13239)
On 11/18/2008 at 4:13pm - misc - by Andy - United Kingdom (Craigavon)
Today, it has been a year and a half since my boyfriend discovered online poker. Annoyed to see him spending every evening playing on his laptop, I threatened him: “Now honey, you have to choose. It’s your poker or me!” Answer: “You are bluffing!” FML
I agree, your life sucks (41891) - you deserved it (9789)
On 10/25/2008 at 12:54pm - love - by Anonymous -
Friday 24 May 2013
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