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Kriyptic's favorite FMLs
by lotd / 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous
by love_to_live / 07/28/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by maggierose171 / 05/19/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML
by haggisbowl / 01/14/2012 at 1:52am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML
by snownerd / 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by chinchilla4404 / 08/02/2011 at 10:17am / United States / Health
by INside / 08/02/2011 at 12:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML
by howniceofyou / 08/01/2011 at 2:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
by lilben / 06/10/2011 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Work
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- Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I… Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what… Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed…
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted…