Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KoiTeeth

Search for a member

KoiTeeth

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4074
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About KoiTeeth : Well, my name is Kenna. And, yes, my username is KoiTeeth. Why? Because koi fish are the shit. And teeth are nice. :D
I'm the blonde in the picture. The other person is my best friend Hannarf (if ya couldn't tell that's a nickname, I'm Kennarf).
I live in Colorado which is the best state in the U.S..
I've been skiing since I was three.
I'd like to say I'm a pretty cool person, but, like everyone else, there's some people who don't particularly love me out there.
My bands: Owl City (I know they have more songs to offer than Vanilla Twilight and Fireflies), Nickasaur!, Coldplay, Blink-182, Pink Floyd, MGMT, Cobra Starship, Avenged Sevenfold, and many more...
Movies: Avatar (yes, the 12 ft tall blue people), Nightmare Before Christmas, The Hangover, How to Train Your Dragon (Night Fury is the shit, and I have no problem being 5 again), I am Legend (sob...), Sherlock Holmes, etc...

KoiTeeth's page activity

Visits<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 5:04pm<b>jamjam12</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 4:55pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:59pm<b>281go</b> - the 07/05/2010 at 3:18am<b>HollyAmelia</b> - the 06/06/2010 at 2:12pm<b>papernapkin</b> - the 05/27/2010 at 11:50am<b>illmatic2</b> - the 05/20/2010 at 12:31am<b>mysmjas</b> - the 05/18/2010 at 10:43am<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 05/04/2010 at 12:03pm<b>22jrdn55</b> - the 04/21/2010 at 1:28pm<b>RuffRider022</b> - the 04/20/2010 at 6:24am<b>rallets</b> - the 04/16/2010 at 8:55pm<b>ILIEKGIRLS</b> - the 04/16/2010 at 10:57am<b>Othello22</b> - the 04/15/2010 at 10:11pm<b>unluckyluis</b> - the 04/15/2010 at 12:28pm<b>allison00</b> - the 04/14/2010 at 2:42am<b>ricky1423</b> - the 04/13/2010 at 2:24pm<b>clockworklolita</b> - the 04/12/2010 at 9:08am

KoiTeeth's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

KoiTeeth's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

#4970470
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38335) - you deserved it (14347)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:30am - health - by pussyOUT (man) - United States

Today, I was on the elevator going up to a meeting, and the elevator was getting more and more crowded as we went up. After about ten people got on, they all agreed that I should get off the elevator because they thought me being on was exceeding the weight limit. FML

#4703567
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34298) - you deserved it (6643)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:27am - health - by tryingatkins (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70033) - you deserved it (8165)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

#4566458
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48945) - you deserved it (8652)

On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48072) - you deserved it (6943)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51982) - you deserved it (14205)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

#3741117
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70837) - you deserved it (14528)

On 07/14/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by paddy (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11556) - you deserved it (110377)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94323) - you deserved it (19948)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
817 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118698) - you deserved it (73828)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83684) - you deserved it (20372)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14239) - you deserved it (83879)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

#2534485
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61245) - you deserved it (5562)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Higgs (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81989) - you deserved it (217413)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you deserved it (140876)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: