Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About KoiTeeth : Well, my name is Kenna. And, yes, my username is KoiTeeth. Why? Because koi fish are the shit. And teeth are nice. :D
I'm the blonde in the picture. The other person is my best friend Hannarf (if ya couldn't tell that's a nickname, I'm Kennarf).
I live in Colorado which is the best state in the U.S..
I've been skiing since I was three.
I'd like to say I'm a pretty cool person, but, like everyone else, there's some people who don't particularly love me out there.
My bands: Owl City (I know they have more songs to offer than Vanilla Twilight and Fireflies), Nickasaur!, Coldplay, Blink-182, Pink Floyd, MGMT, Cobra Starship, Avenged Sevenfold, and many more...
Movies: Avatar (yes, the 12 ft tall blue people), Nightmare Before Christmas, The Hangover, How to Train Your Dragon (Night Fury is the shit, and I have no problem being 5 again), I am Legend (sob...), Sherlock Holmes, etc...
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
Today, my son couldn't find all the parts to his Cub Scout uniform. I had a serious talk with him about being prepared, and how he would need to live with the consequences of not having the right outfit on. When we arrived at the meeting, everyone was in costumes because it's Halloween. I forgot. FML
Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML
Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of no where. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look we hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
Today, I went to my company's HR manager to ask what the procedure was to file a sexual harassment complaint since my boss exposed himself to me. His response was that the procedure is to "get over it." And he went back to reading. FML
Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
Friday 21 November 2014