Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KoiTeeth

Search for a member

KoiTeeth
  • Town/Country : Vail, Colorado
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 July 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 3689
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About KoiTeeth : Well, my name is Kenna. And, yes, my username is KoiTeeth. Why? Because koi fish are the shit. And teeth are nice. :D
I'm the blonde in the picture. The other person is my best friend Hannarf (if ya couldn't tell that's a nickname, I'm Kennarf).
I live in Colorado which is the best state in the U.S..
I've been skiing since I was three.
I'd like to say I'm a pretty cool person, but, like everyone else, there's some people who don't particularly love me out there.
My bands: Owl City (I know they have more songs to offer than Vanilla Twilight and Fireflies), Nickasaur!, Coldplay, Blink-182, Pink Floyd, MGMT, Cobra Starship, Avenged Sevenfold, and many more...
Movies: Avatar (yes, the 12 ft tall blue people), Nightmare Before Christmas, The Hangover, How to Train Your Dragon (Night Fury is the shit, and I have no problem being 5 again), I am Legend (sob...), Sherlock Holmes, etc...

KoiTeeth's last visitors

martinez121797FreezeZebrasofa13281goHollyAmeliapapernapkinillmatic2Miss_lunaticRuffRider022

KoiTeeth's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

KoiTeeth's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

#8991320
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8435) - you deserved it (44871)

On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML

#8971410
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (7738)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:37pm - money - by MR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

#8968653
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7611) - you deserved it (21662)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by RyanM (man) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML

#8946577
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24690) - you deserved it (1880)

On 03/09/2010 at 2:41pm - work - by pat (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I left my car in a disreputable area. After picking it up later on, I heard a strange "clonking" sound. The clonking suddenly stopped when my wheel fell off; someone had stolen my wheel nuts. FML

#8941077
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17352) - you deserved it (3520)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by 3-wheeler (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated-looking my chest has become and how she only wants to help. Except that I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML

#8940307
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32204) - you deserved it (2104)

On 03/09/2010 at 3:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I showed my fiancé the darling Tinkerbell hoodie I'd bought myself during the weekend. Instead of liking it as I'd hoped, he told me my childish wardrobe was embarrassing, and he wasn't going to be seen in public with me until I wore something different. FML

#8922378
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9545) - you deserved it (44821)

On 03/08/2010 at 4:35pm - love - by Crystal (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (2625)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I got on an empty tram and decided to sit at the back. A few minutes in I start to hear a noise and thinking it was the tram, decided to ignore it. When I heard what sounded like an evil giggle, I looked around to see that it wasn't the tram, but it was some creepy middle aged man taking photos of me. FML

#8891257
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23650) - you deserved it (1968)

On 03/07/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by tramrider - United Kingdom (Greater London)

Today, there was a flood at my friends house. As a result, their cat shelter had to be evacuated, and my mother decided to help. I came home to 23 cats in my bedroom. I'm highly allergic. My face has now swollen up to the size of a football, and I have an important job interview tomorrow. FML

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18456) - you deserved it (2436)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

#8819717
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14084) - you deserved it (4040)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML

#8765418
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28197) - you deserved it (2700)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:07am - love - by SingleSara. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of knickers for a week. FML

#8754431
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23051) - you deserved it (1842)

On 03/01/2010 at 7:14pm - health - by :( - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38693) - you deserved it (8816)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: