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Koala_Strike's favorite FMLs
Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML
by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids
by o_O / 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by instinct / 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML
by lsababy / 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 3:17am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML
by obnum / 05/24/2013 at 8:26am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2013 at 11:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
by JamiesMom / 05/13/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by beyondembarrassed / 05/05/2013 at 1:44am / United States / Intimacy
by asausa / 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…