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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22805) - you deserved it (4740)
On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say "Will you marry me" a bird shat on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34590) - you deserved it (4225)
On 10/10/2009 at 8:52am - love - by -bird-poop- (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16277) - you deserved it (3349)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54912) - you deserved it (6592)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8697) - you deserved it (59993)
On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - animals - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be pet. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19369) - you deserved it (62612)
On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35730) - you deserved it (3037)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of when I was a kid. A few minutes into my 5th birthday party, I excused myself and went to grab some snacks for everyone. I returned to realize I had recorded porn over my family videos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5566) - you deserved it (45048)
On 09/06/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Ex-girlfried (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11333) - you deserved it (48361)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38940) - you deserved it (2661)
On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39682) - you deserved it (2955)
On 08/31/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by SaMike (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38182) - you deserved it (9500)
On 08/31/2009 at 1:18am - work - by Timmah (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52741) - you deserved it (12085)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43287) - you deserved it (2270)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35427) - you deserved it (99700)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
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