Kickass89

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Kickass89

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1709
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Kickass89's page activity

Visits<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 11:37am<b>alltimelow785</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 10:39pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:43am<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 11:31pm

Kickass89's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Kickass89's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML

by PaperInfection / 11/23/2009 at 11:19am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend and I attempted to jump the 7-foot high fence around his gated community because he'd left his keys. He made it. I didn’t. My shorts caught on the top of the fence, so I was forced to dangle there on a busy street until my Dad came and helped. But only after taking a picture. FML

by ohjoy / 11/18/2009 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove from Seattle, WA to Vancouver, BC for the Three Days Grace concert. I was so excited when I found the building. There was a big readerboard that flashed "THREE DAYS GRACE" and I cheered. Then it flashed "CANCELLED." FML

by illinformed / 11/18/2009 at 12:23am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at work, I screamed, used one of my employees as a human shield, dove for cover, and cried. Why? A bat flew into my store. Bats scare me shitless. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 3:55pm / United States / Work

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

by swedishdude / 11/14/2009 at 8:37am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML

by hi / 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

by sober / 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous