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Kickass89

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Kickass89

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  • Number of visits : 1182
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Kickass89's page activity

Visits<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 11:37am<b>alltimelow785</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 10:39pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 11:31pm

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Kickass89's favorite FMLs

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22121) - you deserved it (3159)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22121) - you deserved it (3159)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I walked into my apartment to find my boyfriend of two years screwing my lifelong best friend. I immediately burst into tears. He looked at me and told me I was being too dramatic. FML

#6580116
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (2230)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

#6574517
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18447) - you deserved it (10294)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML

#6566418
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34102) - you deserved it (5119)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by JustAnotherTina (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my family went to the Christmas tree farm, and cut down the perfect tree. When we got home we put the kids down for a nap and took some time to relax. We went out to the truck to bring the tree into the house, it was gone. Someone stole my Christmas tree from my driveway in broad daylight. FML

#6565181
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28536) - you deserved it (5158)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:57am - misc - by Project-Mayhem (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

#6553131
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45097) - you deserved it (7613)

On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

#6512953
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36898) - you deserved it (3199)

On 11/29/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Yoooooo0 (woman) - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

#6480993
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19665) - you deserved it (2984)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8572) - you deserved it (43114)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML

#6471383
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34931) - you deserved it (4299)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:26pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

#6461124
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10413) - you deserved it (38804)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by disney - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML

#6441814
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17834) - you deserved it (6318)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:23am - intimacy - by sexyconvo (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70108) - you deserved it (12061)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After refusing more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML

#6437512
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20016) - you deserved it (4873)

On 11/24/2009 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by deathbysnoosnoo - United States (California)



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