KiaMaster

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KiaMaster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4972
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About KiaMaster : im me, deal with it.

KiaMaster's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 8:31am<b>spursunited</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 12:57pm<b>1DisGR8</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:33am<b>zingline89</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:11am<b>Moklon</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:55pm<b>Ninja_Porcupine</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:21pm<b>Ademiary7411</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 6:21pm<b>Star1398</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 10:16pm<b>maybellina</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:44am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 5:51pm<b>gennyv</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:37pm<b>fredward47</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:21am<b>HD0007</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 6:50pm<b>that_one_russian</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 2:03am<b>InfamousRaider</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 5:34pm<b>chlorinegreen</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 1:54am<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 1:30pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 3:38am

KiaMaster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

KiaMaster's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

by 123roomielover / 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

by Fucked / 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

by LoveMyNewBro / 01/04/2011 at 5:56am / Intimacy

Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said "right now?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to feed my neighbor's cat while he was out of town. The cat was sick, so part of my job was to give it a pill each time I came. Cats don't like swallowing pills. My neighbor forgot to mention that his cat wasn't declawed. I was wearing shorts. FML

by anonymous / 12/14/2010 at 6:52am / United States / Health

Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML

by virginat16 / 12/14/2010 at 6:00am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

by shit / 12/14/2010 at 4:26am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 3:04am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

by fishruinsex / 12/08/2010 at 3:46am / Intimacy

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

by flopsy / 12/03/2010 at 11:19am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML

by nickyboy / 12/02/2010 at 12:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I was running the track at my school. My crush of two years was running in front of me, so I decided to catch up and finally talk to her. When I caught up, the only thing I could think to say was, "What's your name?" even though I already knew. She replied, "Natalie". Her name is Melissa. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2010 at 7:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

by nicki / 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals