KiaMaster

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KiaMaster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5586
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About KiaMaster : im me, deal with it.

KiaMaster's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 8:31am<b>spursunited</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 12:57pm<b>1DisGR8</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:33am<b>zingline89</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:11am<b>Moklon</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:55pm<b>Ninja_Porcupine</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:21pm<b>Ademiary7411</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 6:21pm<b>Star1398</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 10:16pm<b>maybellina</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:44am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 5:51pm<b>gennyv</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:37pm<b>fredward47</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:21am<b>HD0007</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 6:50pm<b>that_one_russian</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 2:03am<b>InfamousRaider</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 5:34pm<b>chlorinegreen</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 1:54am<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 1:30pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 3:38am

KiaMaster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

KiaMaster's favorite FMLs

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

by mottephobe / 04/06/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

by shelby / 03/30/2011 at 12:54am / United States / Health

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

by -_- / 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

by karmavictim / 03/18/2011 at 7:28am / Animals

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML

by taiannalynn5 / 03/02/2011 at 6:43pm / Health

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

by Anon. / 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I cycled 30 minutes through hail and rain to get my pregnant girlfriend the crisps she was craving. When I made it back, she didn't want them anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2011 at 12:41pm / Ireland / Love

Today, a guy who I have known for a long time confessed his love to me. It would have been sweet except that he will become my stepbrother in 3 days. FML

by welcometothefamily / 02/26/2011 at 9:03am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

by Michelle / 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 11:27am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

by Stormbringer / 02/01/2011 at 1:37am / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

by anon / 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy