Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KiaMaster

Search for a member

KiaMaster

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2869
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About KiaMaster : im me, deal with it.

KiaMaster's page activity

Visits<b>gennyv</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:37pm<b>fredward47</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:21am<b>HD0007</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 6:50pm<b>that_one_russian</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 2:03am<b>InfamousRaider</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 5:34pm<b>chlorinegreen</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 1:54am<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 1:30pm<b>GreeenEggsAndHam</b> - the 01/05/2011 at 6:48am<b>Ninjafriends</b> - the 12/14/2010 at 12:14pm<b>Zikk</b> - the 12/07/2010 at 5:28pm<b>Kua_Mei</b> - the 12/07/2010 at 5:15pm<b>Farion</b> - the 11/24/2010 at 12:11pm<b>syd20isballin</b> - the 11/22/2010 at 1:11pm<b>blondie2112</b> - the 11/21/2010 at 4:52pm<b>lilmac61894</b> - the 11/21/2010 at 12:25pm<b>NiceGuyz</b> - the 11/21/2010 at 11:37am<b>TheB0a</b> - the 11/19/2010 at 11:14pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 11/18/2010 at 6:22am

KiaMaster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

KiaMaster's favorite FMLs

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19259) - you deserved it (65819)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19799) - you deserved it (32842)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33433) - you deserved it (24689)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

#15538339
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33325) - you deserved it (4803)

On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54746) - you deserved it (27492)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

#15364776
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32823) - you deserved it (9708)

On 03/18/2011 at 7:28am - misc - by karmavictim -

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36592) - you deserved it (6531)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML

#15177463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (7129)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:43pm - misc - by taiannalynn5 -

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17584) - you deserved it (83053)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I cycled 30 minutes through hail and rain to get my pregnant girlfriend the crisps she was craving. When I made it back, she didn't want them anymore. FML

#15139053
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37295) - you deserved it (7228)

On 02/27/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, a guy who I have known for a long time confessed his love to me. It would have been sweet except that he will become my stepbrother in 3 days. FML

#15124689
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33617) - you deserved it (2766)

On 02/26/2011 at 9:03am - love - by welcometothefamily - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (4351)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

#14894865
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (3313)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

#14793203
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27929) - you deserved it (3600)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47566) - you deserved it (8102)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: