Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KiaMaster

Search for a member

KiaMaster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4323
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About KiaMaster : im me, deal with it.

KiaMaster's page activity

Visits<b>spursunited</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 12:57pm<b>1DisGR8</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:33am<b>zingline89</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:11am<b>Moklon</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:55pm<b>Ninja_Porcupine</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:21pm<b>Ademiary7411</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 6:21pm<b>Star1398</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 10:16pm<b>maybellina</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:44am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 5:51pm<b>gennyv</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:37pm<b>fredward47</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:21am<b>HD0007</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 6:50pm<b>that_one_russian</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 2:03am<b>InfamousRaider</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 5:34pm<b>chlorinegreen</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 1:54am<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 1:30pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 3:38am<b>GreeenEggsAndHam</b> - the 01/05/2011 at 6:48am

KiaMaster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

KiaMaster's favorite FMLs

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20342) - you deserved it (66169)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21646) - you deserved it (35021)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36113) - you deserved it (26072)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

#15538339
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35993) - you deserved it (5072)

On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55510) - you deserved it (27792)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

#15364776
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35644) - you deserved it (10270)

On 03/18/2011 at 7:28am - misc - by karmavictim -

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39590) - you deserved it (6839)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML

#15177463
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29597) - you deserved it (7399)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:43pm - misc - by taiannalynn5 -

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19224) - you deserved it (87247)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I cycled 30 minutes through hail and rain to get my pregnant girlfriend the crisps she was craving. When I made it back, she didn't want them anymore. FML

#15139053
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39269) - you deserved it (7430)

On 02/27/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, a guy who I have known for a long time confessed his love to me. It would have been sweet except that he will become my stepbrother in 3 days. FML

#15124689
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34489) - you deserved it (2819)

On 02/26/2011 at 9:03am - love - by welcometothefamily - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29046) - you deserved it (4577)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

#14894865
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31975) - you deserved it (3506)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

#14793203
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30778) - you deserved it (3870)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50048) - you deserved it (8367)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: