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KiaMaster

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KiaMaster
  • Town/Country : A place
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2296
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About KiaMaster : im me, deal with it.

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KiaMaster's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML

#16310118
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33769) - you deserved it (5287)

On 05/23/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Badaboom (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29829) - you deserved it (17343)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

#16301661
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17982) - you deserved it (31073)

On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by why me -

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52242) - you deserved it (7878)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML

#16263681
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37475) - you deserved it (14621)

On 05/20/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by skiittlez713 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31553) - you deserved it (19668)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my 53 year-old art teacher told me she's excited about going clubbing this weekend. I'm excited about watching a special on the History Channel. FML

#16249376
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25446) - you deserved it (5811)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:11am - misc - by ThisPerson - Canada

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

#16235251
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you deserved it (9376)

On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

#16157379
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27005) - you deserved it (5095)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:23pm - animals - by crazycat - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

#16138835
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9546) - you deserved it (20380)

On 05/12/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML

#16122609
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39918) - you deserved it (6748)

On 05/10/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12973) - you deserved it (40581)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that my classmates affectionately refer to me as "the kid whose eyes are really far apart." FML

#16101682
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26352) - you deserved it (2974)

On 05/09/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by theyarefarapart -

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

#16099079
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22120) - you deserved it (2536)

On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland

Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML

#16060289
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23548) - you deserved it (4979)

On 05/05/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by parkingisawesome - United States



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