Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KiaMaster

Search for a member

KiaMaster
  • Town/Country : A place
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2304
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About KiaMaster : im me, deal with it.

KiaMaster's last visitors

that_one_russianInfamousRaiderchlorinegreenMornaiGreeenEggsAndHamNinjafriendsFarionbroken_symlink

KiaMaster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

KiaMaster's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33970) - you deserved it (4729)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58179) - you deserved it (7218)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

#16877997
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48387) - you deserved it (5459)

On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

#16871149
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19960) - you deserved it (31797)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8344) - you deserved it (21330)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43218) - you deserved it (9795)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, the man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML

#16851607
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24365) - you deserved it (3946)

On 06/25/2011 at 3:41pm - animals - by kk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34268) - you deserved it (7405)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML

#16844513
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37522) - you deserved it (16504)

On 06/25/2011 at 2:02am - love - by cek4uytp - United States (California)

Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML

#16842955
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9283) - you deserved it (40801)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by PandaMantis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during my honeymoon, my wife and I finally went scuba-diving. My nose was too big to fit in the face goggles, so I couldn't go. My wife went without me anyway. FML

#16838274
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32135) - you deserved it (7289)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:04pm - love - by pinocchio - United States

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44057) - you deserved it (6900)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35064) - you deserved it (11393)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML

#16696125
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10039) - you deserved it (40909)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by Madmanmorton (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML

#16637364
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (10830)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by cycler - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: