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Kennykid2002's FML badges
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Kennykid2002's favorite FMLs
Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML
by assholedad / 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
by mista_sandy / 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
by addicted2v / 01/21/2012 at 8:25am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 5:45am / Russian Federation / Intimacy
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
by fuckparents / 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2011 at 5:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
by Pissedoff777 / 08/12/2011 at 1:33am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Mary / 07/10/2011 at 8:49am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML
by weddingblues / 05/30/2011 at 12:19am / United States (New York) / Geek
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…