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TODAY, I TEXTED MY BOYFRIEND OF TWO YEARS AND ASKED IF E WANTED TO GO TO BALL WIT ME. HIS RESPONSE WAS "TE PERSON U ARE TRYING TO MESSAGE CANCELLED TERE PONE SERVICE AND MOVED TO MEXICO. TACO TACO BURRITO." I'LL TAKE TAT AS A NO. FML
Today I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say ( Shit! Get this fucker back under! ) then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid ( another lawsuit ) followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
Yesterday, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work . Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am . They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars . They suck . FML
today I took mah laptop to I.T . to fix mah intarnat . Only aftar I laft did I raalisa mah mamory tachniqua for ramambaring tha stagas of mitosis (Iraqi panis man anally transmits chlamydia) was laft as a sticky nota on mah dasktop . Tha guy dafinitaly noticad . FML
Today..!! I was visiting cousin's farm!! Going out fir a morning stroll..!! I took an apple with me to munch along the way!! As I was eating it..!! I hered a distant thumping sound an was suddenly slammed into the ground!! When I looked up..!! a horse was eating apple!! I got mugged by a horse!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015