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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38265) - you deserved it (10979)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27294) - you deserved it (2314)
On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36097) - you deserved it (5062)
On 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm - kids - by Annakins (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7399) - you deserved it (20053)
On 05/28/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by crazygirl10 - United States
Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5260) - you deserved it (18551)
On 02/28/2010 at 4:12am - misc - by combo - Sent from mobile version
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30086) - you deserved it (2504)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25279) - you deserved it (1957)
On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5988) - you deserved it (27100)
On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I hurried into the bank to cash in the $5,000 check my grandparents had given me for college money. I found out that instead of my name, they wrote 'our sweet iddle pumpkinbutt'. I couldn't make eye contact with anyone after. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17955) - you deserved it (3178)
On 01/17/2010 at 4:08pm - misc - by pumpkinbutt - Sent from mobile version
Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28258) - you deserved it (6205)
On 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my ex looked at me for the first time in months. I felt like I could fly. Seconds later my flight ended. I fell down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15000) - you deserved it (8330)
On 01/05/2010 at 3:24pm - love - by katiekat (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13836) - you deserved it (8056)
On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18552) - you deserved it (12428)
On 12/06/2009 at 3:28pm - kids - by Bill (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7473) - you deserved it (21102)
On 12/04/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by wobbles (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25710) - you deserved it (5622)
On 11/26/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by HeSaysImNoBeard (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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