This member hasn't filled in the description.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5386) - you deserved it (26380)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5363) - you deserved it (24277)
On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5103) - you deserved it (14848)
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13973) - you deserved it (4415)
On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16586) - you deserved it (1998)
On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (2124)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)
Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13038) - you deserved it (3120)
On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6761) - you deserved it (36812)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7613) - you deserved it (11199)
On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21043) - you deserved it (2392)
On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17448) - you deserved it (3147)
On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13869) - you deserved it (3029)
On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19203) - you deserved it (1132)
On 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm - animals - by banj0 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15150) - you deserved it (3047)
On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21845) - you deserved it (3393)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
