Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KatjaM

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 2:30am) | Search for a member

KatjaM

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3684
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About KatjaM : Hello there :) Hopefully your visit isn't do to something dumb I said. I don't really comment all that much because I'm as awkward on the internet as in real life. I'm from Puerto Rico, I love animals, tattoos and piercings; coffee, pick-up trucks and anything to do with mudding, ATV's and racing. If you want to know anything else, you can message me :)

KatjaM's page activity

Visits<b>madarfakar</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 8:47pm<b>ritz24683</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 3:00pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:51am<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:48pm<b>hoondigi</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 2:01am<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 2:46am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 11:25pm<b>wilks311</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 12:03am<b>fk18</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 6:30am<b>Cavenyanson</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 8:47pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 4:41pm<b>haileyshelton</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 6:05am<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 9:05pm<b>Claireheart15</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 9:27pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 12:08am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 11:13am<b>chickaslimshady</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 2:06am<b>trucksfar45</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 2:54am

KatjaM's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of KatjaM's badges

KatjaM's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46495) - you deserved it (13737)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "caution, contents may be stinky." FML

#9913301
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40141) - you deserved it (19997)

On 04/16/2010 at 12:03am - intimacy - by shmelly - United States

Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML

#9150929
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22336) - you deserved it (3077)

On 03/17/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by rainonmyparade (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20234) - you deserved it (6812)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

#8687085
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24975) - you deserved it (2691)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

#8180539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19006) - you deserved it (2970)

On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28723) - you deserved it (2369)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42210) - you deserved it (11938)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

#7492284
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8583) - you deserved it (19335)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my young son swung a plastic pipe, it makes a kind of whistling sound as it spins around. I was standing a little too close, luckily it missed both my legs, but hit my happy sacks full on. FML

#7297825
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (4954)

On 01/12/2010 at 10:27am - kids - by Dr_Dolittle (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25434) - you deserved it (8115)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

#7273590
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30870) - you deserved it (9763)

On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33023) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, I was really depressed so I talked on the phone with my best friend. She was telling me how a guy she really liked complimented her. I told her it was be nice to get at least one compliment. After a long silence she says, "You're really good with computers." FML

#6312385
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (5141)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Ugh (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

#6165427
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37677) - you deserved it (6273)

On 11/05/2009 at 9:22am - health - by HairyBoobs (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: