About KatjaM : Hello there :) Hopefully your visit isn't do to something dumb I said. I don't really comment all that much because I'm as awkward on the internet as in real life. I'm from Puerto Rico, I love animals, tattoos and piercings; coffee, pick-up trucks and anything to do with mudding, ATV's and racing. If you want to know anything else, you can message me :)
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18970) - you deserved it (6246)
On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24413) - you deserved it (7560)
On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (2071)
On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France
Today, I was really depressed so I talked on the phone with my best friend. She was telling me how a guy she really liked complimented her. I told her it was be nice to get at least one compliment. After a long silence she says, "You're really good with computers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21068) - you deserved it (4540)
On 11/15/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Ugh (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32183) - you deserved it (5698)
On 11/05/2009 at 9:22am - health - by HairyBoobs (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each others company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14136) - you deserved it (3056)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28409) - you deserved it (2987)
On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27682) - you deserved it (43362)
On 05/28/2009 at 1:15pm - health - by ITguy1982 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52442) - you deserved it (6445)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (93983) - you deserved it (3723)
On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)
Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43680) - you deserved it (3657)
On 04/19/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43429) - you deserved it (19543)
On 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by blutownie13 - United States
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42587) - you deserved it (485236)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34727) - you deserved it (203240)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461102) - you deserved it (572867)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
