Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

KatjaM

Search for a member

KatjaM
  • Town/Country : Puerto Rico
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1135
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About KatjaM : Hello there :) Hopefully your visit isn't do to something dumb I said. I don't really comment all that much because I'm as awkward on the internet as in real life. I'm from Puerto Rico, I love animals, tattoos and piercings; coffee, pick-up trucks and anything to do with mudding, ATV's and racing. If you want to know anything else, you can message me :)

KatjaM's last visitors

jackacedAdicto1998Domo17gary3768MythicalPandalotus0313arsenicalhumorKuzuklorehore

KatjaM's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of KatjaM's badges

KatjaM's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37541) - you deserved it (5715)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44388) - you deserved it (4246)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44617) - you deserved it (7921)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

#20642863
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48476) - you deserved it (6740)

On 05/05/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57901) - you deserved it (8182)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53748) - you deserved it (7634)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35154) - you deserved it (6945)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28587) - you deserved it (94571)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48386) - you deserved it (5782)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (7045)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53051) - you deserved it (9756)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47390) - you deserved it (5711)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17489) - you deserved it (37430)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

#20575858
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24860) - you deserved it (3221)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34091) - you deserved it (2279)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: