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KatiesSwaggin's favorite FMLs
Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML
by NotSpiderman / 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML
by radioinvader / 10/28/2012 at 8:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
by Ceej / 10/28/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm / Philippines (Manila) / Kids
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Love
Today, my husband and I went to marriage counselling. I confessed something that was bothering me, but he didn't understand. Our counselor repeated word-for-word what I said right back at him. He turned to me angrily and shouted, "Why couldn't you just say that the first time?!" FML
by madari / 10/21/2012 at 7:11pm / Spain (Andalucia) / Love
Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML
by leaftheerickson / 10/21/2012 at 6:31am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2012 at 12:03am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML
by ktreens / 10/19/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML
by Faker / 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm / United States / Health
Today, the guardian angel charm my grandma gave to me for "safe driving" fell off my sun visor while I was driving. This scared me enough to cause me to swerve into another moving car. So much for safe driving. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 2:43pm / United States / Transportation
Today, my neighbors left for their nine month excursion, and armed their security system. One of the features is a loud series of three beeps every three seconds, 24 hours a day. I can hear it, clear as a bell, throughout my entire house. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Bug / 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals