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Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25885) - you deserved it (1004)
On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18065) - you deserved it (2085) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (1357)
On 08/14/2012 at 5:06am - love - by cclllc (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21778) - you deserved it (1118)
On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6790) - you deserved it (20965)
On 08/09/2012 at 8:02pm - animals - by couchsurfer - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6790) - you deserved it (20965)
On 08/09/2012 at 8:02pm - animals - by couchsurfer - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21369) - you deserved it (4928)
On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29526) - you deserved it (2909) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (1688)
On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15146) - you deserved it (4174)
On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23780) - you deserved it (2627)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14349) - you deserved it (4408)
On 06/28/2012 at 1:20am - animals - by lala8940 - United States
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7315) - you deserved it (25566)
On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24328) - you deserved it (1679)
On 06/16/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by mystery - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (4118)
On 06/11/2012 at 3:14am - animals - by ILoveAnimals (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Monday 20 May 2013
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