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Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19228) - you deserved it (3648)
On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16239) - you deserved it (2314)
On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4872) - you deserved it (35245)
On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19467) - you deserved it (3773)
On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22746) - you deserved it (6679)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22746) - you deserved it (6679)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22746) - you deserved it (6679)
Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22387) - you deserved it (5501)
On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23288) - you deserved it (9508)
On 11/02/2011 at 9:50am - love - by S. Bauer (woman) - Portugal
Today, my dad yelled for me. It was an emergency. I ran down the stairs, tripped, fell, and limped over to my dad only to find that he wanted me to see a video of someone playing "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the ukulele. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17267) - you deserved it (1905)
On 10/29/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by camille - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16866) - you deserved it (29237)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25970) - you deserved it (4476)
On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26170) - you deserved it (1956)
On 10/15/2011 at 10:02am - health - by KilteDKilleR - United States (Utah)
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37601) - you deserved it (3801)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21391) - you deserved it (7730)
On 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by Cassandra (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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