Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KMilliron

Search for a member

KMilliron

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 615
  • Number of comments : 168
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About KMilliron : My family just found out that I do Tarot cards and they're pissed. Up yours! Haha, if you wanna help me be a rebel or just want your tarot read hit me up!

KMilliron's page activity

Visits<b>utrax</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 6:19pm<b>xninix</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 4:41pm<b>smc3107</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 12:50pm<b>xlittlesisterx</b> - the 04/08/2011 at 8:19am<b>rodger202</b> - the 03/28/2011 at 1:57am<b>Karamelo</b> - the 03/26/2011 at 1:34pm<b>talun</b> - the 03/26/2011 at 1:15am<b>Xanster82</b> - the 03/24/2011 at 7:59pm

KMilliron's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

KMilliron's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10461) - you deserved it (116322)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41756) - you deserved it (5605)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17568) - you deserved it (36314)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

#15719480
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36679) - you deserved it (4080)

On 04/10/2011 at 2:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

#15718198
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48473) - you deserved it (4528)

On 04/10/2011 at 12:42am - love - by torny>horny - United States

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#15632766
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30648) - you deserved it (16162)

On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46689) - you deserved it (13854)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46016) - you deserved it (15395)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned, 15 years later, that my puppy from when I was 4, was not taken by Santa because he was in need of a reindeer. My parents took him to the shelter because they thought he was ugly. FML

#15508713
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37719) - you deserved it (4710)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:10am - misc - by leeseyxoxo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

#15479009
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30900) - you deserved it (5030)

On 03/25/2011 at 4:50am - misc - by radicaloser - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

#13921347
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9033) - you deserved it (58805)

On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)

Today, I was waiting for a friend to pick me up. It was after dark and I was nervous, so when he pulled up I immediately jumped in the car. The young girl in the driver's seat started freaking out, screaming and punching me in the face repeatedly. I'd accidentally gotten in the wrong car. FML

#13687636
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10387) - you deserved it (24217)

On 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm - misc - by blackandblue (man) - United States

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57039) - you deserved it (17162)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: