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JuviNotesx's favorite FMLs
Today, the arts company I work for cancelled our 8 pm sold-out outdoor performance at 7:30 due to rain, and will have to reticket 550 patrons. I'm the only person in the office trained in ticketing. It stopped raining 10 minutes after we cancelled it. FML
by Wilf / 02/22/2013 at 10:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by Paris101 / 02/22/2013 at 9:51am / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by PoorMe / 02/22/2013 at 8:06am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 5:25am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 2:57am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by shelbylove115 / 02/22/2013 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm / United States (New York) / Work
by lolo / 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm / Israel (HaDarom) / Miscellaneous
Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML
by AKGrace / 02/21/2013 at 3:45pm / United States (Alaska) / Money
Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML
by tomedicalforlove / 02/21/2013 at 12:51am / Love
Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML
by its ok to cheat!? / 02/20/2013 at 4:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML
by Ughh! / 02/20/2013 at 3:40pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML
by club goer / 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…