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JuicyFruitandGru

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JuicyFruitandGru

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 March 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 422
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JuicyFruitandGru's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30392) - you deserved it (11353)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9150) - you deserved it (35704)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

#16982648
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11048) - you deserved it (56951)

On 07/05/2011 at 3:06am - love - by eatmywords (man) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60240) - you deserved it (12595)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML

#15914349
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41907) - you deserved it (6248)

On 04/25/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by neverdatingacopagain (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

#14919566
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54500) - you deserved it (7764)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:58am - animals - by flattened -

Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML

#14140918
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40811) - you deserved it (5215)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by prinzess (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40204) - you deserved it (12324)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

#13782516
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39006) - you deserved it (6995)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter got engaged. Her fiancé is not only 25 years older than her, but was her teacher in middle school. FML

#13768477
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46480) - you deserved it (4060)

On 11/08/2010 at 7:38pm - kids - by - (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

#13766539
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7026) - you deserved it (39714)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by pottyhostage (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

#13688243
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39169) - you deserved it (6998)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm - misc - by gingerninja (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

#13641509
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42820) - you deserved it (4771)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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