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JuicyFruitandGru's favorite FMLs
by danthecomplicate / 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML
by Kathryn / 08/13/2011 at 6:31am / Belgium / Kids
Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML
by eatmywords / 07/05/2011 at 3:06am / Singapore / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy
by neverdatingacopagain / 04/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by prinzess / 12/09/2010 at 9:20am / Germany (Bayern) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML
by neverdateaclosetcase / 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by single / 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by - / 11/08/2010 at 7:38pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML
by pottyhostage / 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML
by gingerninja / 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…