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JuicyCheeks's favorite FMLs
by anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 11:26pm / Miscellaneous
by cantgetup / 04/03/2011 at 12:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Johntheladdo / 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML
by Thatslife / 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Intimacy
by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by phantomdriver / 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation
by HotAsTits / 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
by thisblows / 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, the bus came to pick up my daughter to take her to kindergarten. When it honked, I opened the door for her to let her run out to it. Halfway there she tripped and started crying. I couldn't run out because I was still in my underwear. Now her bus thinks I'm the worst mom ever. FML
by mommylovesu / 03/14/2011 at 10:25pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML
by cleangirl / 03/14/2011 at 7:45pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous
by lonelynessinCA / 03/14/2011 at 2:31pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation…