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Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15546) - you deserved it (38565)
On 05/04/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by Jon (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (82645) - you deserved it (24507)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43156) - you deserved it (492709)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59144) - you deserved it (7390)
On 03/18/2009 at 9:41pm - health - by uofpalum (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (123592) - you deserved it (3842)
On 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (123592) - you deserved it (3842)
On 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (65610) - you deserved it (14296)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14240) - you deserved it (39578)
On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (209665) - you deserved it (45114)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56234) - you deserved it (329699)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9163) - you deserved it (29159)
On 02/23/2009 at 4:58pm - animals - by frenchpop1960 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9163) - you deserved it (29159)
On 02/23/2009 at 4:58pm - animals - by frenchpop1960 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44516) - you deserved it (17474)
On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (183026) - you deserved it (61949)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5130) - you deserved it (17421)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)
Monday 17 June 2013
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