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JuicyCheeks's favorite FMLs
Today, the heating in my house broke down. I called my boyfriend and asked if I could stay at his place until I could get it fixed. He said no, and told me my overgrown leg hair would keep me warm. FML
by Anonymous / 12/16/2011 at 3:11pm / Sweden (Hallands Lan) / Love
by Username / 12/15/2011 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Work
by annoyed / 12/14/2011 at 9:06am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by reallyman__639 / 12/13/2011 at 7:26am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML
by aceshot97 / 12/06/2011 at 9:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by bizzyizzy0121 / 11/21/2011 at 1:28am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Yeoman / 11/19/2011 at 2:47am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Love
by ray / 11/17/2011 at 6:22am / United States / Health
Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
by blarp / 10/17/2011 at 12:20am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by pillowless / 10/13/2011 at 10:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
by glitterzebra / 10/09/2011 at 4:30am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
by Laura / 10/08/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Work
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML
by rufusthepenis / 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, it’s exam day in Sweden. Yesterday, I prepared three fountain pens and six cartridges. The… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…