Jotne

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Jotne

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 January 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3308
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jotne : What to write? FML resonates with me, in a decidedly unhealthy way. I like knowing that I'm not alone, though; good to see that other people's lives suck as well sometimes. Feel free to wave as we float past each other in the swirling chaos of life - it feels good to wave at strangers sometimes, don't you know?

Btw, the date of birth is incorrect. The year is right, that's as precise as I care to be.

Jotne's page activity

Visits<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 7:41pm<b>MBrabs1996</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 2:22pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 8:18am<b>Quicky185</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 4:23am<b>NotABadName</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 10:05pm<b>suttbex</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 1:21pm<b>mt1991</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 12:39am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:10pm<b>Yourtbn</b> - the 07/24/2011 at 3:45pm<b>Twi_lover_EC</b> - the 03/13/2010 at 9:06am<b>geewhiz</b> - the 01/19/2010 at 12:03pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/06/2009 at 12:21am<b>Bob999</b> - the 11/08/2009 at 11:13am<b>GreenHacker</b> - the 11/06/2009 at 9:33pm<b>Mulberry</b> - the 11/06/2009 at 8:03am<b>Wet_Dream</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 5:16am<b>meme3</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 2:01am<b>Exhumed</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 12:32am

Jotne's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Jotne's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 4:03am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 1:42am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

by bubblensuds1 / 10/28/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my friends when I suddenly passed out due to my hypoglycemia. When I woke up, I discovered that I was still in the same spot and my friends had abandoned me to go to class. Also, my stuff was stolen. FML

by hey-ooo / 10/27/2009 at 9:15pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

by dumped / 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I noticed that I've been spelling my company's name wrong in my email signature for over a year. FML

by nobodyreadsmyemails / 10/27/2009 at 6:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML

by WasFeelingGood / 10/27/2009 at 9:32am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML

by anonymous / 10/27/2009 at 9:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my telephone line was hit by lightning. I discovered that not only will lightning fry a router, it will also destroy any PCs connected to that router via network cables. I also discovered that a $10 phone line surge protector would have saved nearly $3,000 worth of PC equipment. FML

by MotherNatureMustDie / 10/27/2009 at 8:32am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2009 at 11:15pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML

by hanzastfu / 10/26/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML

by Badday / 10/25/2009 at 12:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

by fmlifetime / 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML

by noo / 10/11/2009 at 6:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love