Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jotne

Search for a member

Jotne

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 January 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2220
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jotne : What to write? FML resonates with me, in a decidedly unhealthy way. I like knowing that I'm not alone, though; good to see that other people's lives suck as well sometimes. Feel free to wave as we float past each other in the swirling chaos of life - it feels good to wave at strangers sometimes, don't you know?

Btw, the date of birth is incorrect. The year is right, that's as precise as I care to be.

Jotne's page activity

Visits<b>Quicky185</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 4:23am<b>NotABadName</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 10:05pm<b>suttbex</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 1:21pm<b>mt1991</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 12:39am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:10pm<b>Yourtbn</b> - the 07/24/2011 at 3:45pm<b>Twi_lover_EC</b> - the 03/13/2010 at 9:06am<b>geewhiz</b> - the 01/19/2010 at 12:03pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/06/2009 at 12:21am<b>Bob999</b> - the 11/08/2009 at 11:13am<b>GreenHacker</b> - the 11/06/2009 at 9:33pm<b>Mulberry</b> - the 11/06/2009 at 8:03am<b>Wet_Dream</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 5:16am<b>meme3</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 2:01am<b>Exhumed</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 12:32am<b>sephirothyeti</b> - the 11/04/2009 at 11:09pm<b>w100wdm</b> - the 11/04/2009 at 6:36pm<b>MaddogTotten</b> - the 11/04/2009 at 9:03am

Jotne's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Jotne's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

#6042161
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9011) - you deserved it (83005)

On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

#6040097
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10834) - you deserved it (79748)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33309) - you deserved it (7113)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML

#6035078
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14950) - you deserved it (31128)

On 10/28/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

#6034083
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26230) - you deserved it (2663)

On 10/28/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by bubblensuds1 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my friends when I suddenly passed out due to my hypoglycemia. When I woke up, I discovered that I was still in the same spot and my friends had abandoned me to go to class. Also, my stuff was stolen. FML

#6030551
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40605) - you deserved it (2386)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by hey-ooo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

#6028042
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45937) - you deserved it (2347)

On 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I noticed that I've been spelling my company's name wrong in my email signature for over a year. FML

#6027287
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6948) - you deserved it (38733)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:24pm - work - by nobodyreadsmyemails (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML

#6021745
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37553) - you deserved it (3045)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by WasFeelingGood (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my telephone line was hit by lightning. I discovered that not only will lightning fry a router, it will also destroy any PCs connected to that router via network cables. I also discovered that a $10 phone line surge protector would have saved nearly $3,000 worth of PC equipment. FML

#6021416
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12298) - you deserved it (33846)

On 10/27/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by MotherNatureMustDie (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

#6016625
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (2562)

On 10/26/2009 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML

#6006516
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29728) - you deserved it (8632)

On 10/26/2009 at 1:25pm - love - by hanzastfu (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML

#5984372
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15254) - you deserved it (25612)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Badday (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33022) - you deserved it (13532)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: